Day 3 ("I'm gonna start a revolution from my bed")

Today was a slow day at the office (my bedroom). After completing my unemployment registration and opting to withhold state taxes, I was relieved to receive news that some freelance work may be heading in my direction within days. I’ve been lucky enough to remain in the thoughts of people willing and wanting to assist me while I surpass this setback. It helps quell the sting of uncertainty to know others care enough to numb the fear as best they can. For that I am truly grateful and appreciative. I hope I can reciprocate one day…when I rule the world!

I had a late Chinese lunch and tried duck for the first time today, which tasted like chicken but may have been cat. I don’t believe in superstition, but for fun, anytime I eat a fortune cookie I ask a question and make sure I’ve devoured it in entirety before reading my fate. My question today - Will I be ok? My answer - Your success will astonish everyone. You better not be lying cookie!

Day 2 (Will that be Tall, Grande, or Venti?)

I remember a comedian once referred to the poser perception of laptop clad patrons, setting up shop like wolves among the average American coffee fiend, in cafes from coast to coast. His observation was something to the effect of, “I’m so important, I’m ultra cool, I’m writing on my computer at a Starbucks!” Well, I’m not that important, I do consider myself reasonably cool, yet here I am writing on my computer at a Starbucks. I have become the American writer cliché.

Identity crisis aside, my second day as a freelance freeloader has been mild thus far. I began filing for unemployment early this morning, but was halted rather abruptly once I stumbled upon the need for a former employer registration code. I am now left to continue activating my state assistance tomorrow. For my next act, I spent about an hour in the sun tanning…I mean looking for a job. While sprawled across a blanket in the yard, visions of resumes and cover letters danced in my head. The email addresses of every professional I’ve met over the past 2 years struggles to surface to the top of my over extended to-do list, but I am no closer to a resolution than I was yesterday. I have been inundated with the advice of others. From, “hurry find a job!” to “relax and take your time” I still just do not know what to do. To be or not to be…which pays more?

Driving through town I came across a farmers market, which has been and will be held each Wednesday between the hours of 10am and 4pm, spanning the end of October. Located in the parking lot shared with the Star bucks on High Ridge Rd., vibrant, colorful fruits and vegetables from the farms of Seymour, CT., take shade beneath white tents decorated with sundresses and fragrant herbs. The swarm of people gathering around the stands provided me with enough incentive to pull over and take a few pictures. I usually only eat meals that must be unwrapped once taken from the box so, the event was slightly lost on me. However, it was still a lovely refuge from the typical city hustle and bustle.

As my motivation dwindles with the light of day, I am left to ponder…where will I be a year from now?

Day 2

Day 2

Day 2

Day 1 (yesterday doesn't count)

What the fuck am I going to do? That sentence has been bouncing between my thoughts since the very moment I was “laid-off“ yesterday morning. After the initial shock, wanting to vomit, and tears faded away I was, and am, left in a state of deep contemplation. What the fuck am I going to do?

Rent, health insurance, bills, food, clothing, life…and gas for my car. Until 9:45am 8/17/09 I hadn’t been too worried about any of it. Now, I have officially declared my life is in a state of Murphy’s Law. I am accepting canned goods as well as monetary donations.

Ok, it’s not that serious. Yet. But I am completely out of my element here. Unemployment, Cobra, job interviews. Breathe Krysta. A swell of anxiety overwhelms me every now and then. It’s not only money I’ve lost this week, but also a sense of my self worth, friends, dreams, and not being a bum. I know, I have a few months on unemployment collecting before qualifying as a city bum…which is great because I threw out the box my flat screen TV came in, and that was my plan B.

In all seriousness, over the next few days, weeks, dare I say months, I will try to make nice with the recession that just fucked me so hard I can’t even stand straight without feeling dizzy. I will not allow myself to fall off track. I am scared, I am unprepared, and I am alone. But, I am me, and I refuse to accept this as the end of my career.What is it like to be jobless in this town? I don't know, but when I find out I'll tell you. Now, is there really an unemployment line?

Day 1 Cont. (what do people do around here?)

Day 1 Cont. (what do people do around here?)

Day 1 Cont. (what do people do around here?)